A Wife’s Story – Name Withheld
“My husband and I married shortly after he returned from his mission and just after I graduated from high school. I didn’t know he was bringing a pornography addiction into our marriage. Over time, I began to realize that the addiction was a bigger part of his life than I could have ever imagined. As access to pornography got easier, his addiction increased. We saw counselors a few times throughout the years. Their help was not helpful at all. The fault was mine, according to our counselor, and so was the burden of ‘fixing him.’
“On the outside, we were a ‘normal’ LDS family. We were active in church and our community. We have six children. We appeared to be the perfect family. On the inside, my heart felt like a grape being turned into a raisin. I was shriveling up and dying. I chose not to share our secret with any of my friends or family. After all, counseling had taught me it was my fault. I wanted my marriage to make it but seriously doubted it would be possible. I set a goal to endure until our children had all graduated from high school. I started working outside the home in order to be able to provide for myself when the time came that I could leave him. I sought counseling again. This time it wasn’t to fix my husband, I wanted some coping skills. I explained I was married to a man with a sexual addiction and I wanted guidance to help me. The counselor went through family dynamics and then started in on communications skills. After several sessions, I felt all of the money had been […]

A Wife’s Story – Name Withheld
“Several years ago, I found myself in a very dark and lonely place in my life. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I had never been like this in my entire life. This wasn’t me! I found out first hand that the idea that pornography doesn’t hurt anyone is a tremendous lie. My heart was broken and I had never felt such intense emotional pain before and it was caused by the person I cherished the most….my husband. How could he do this to me? How did this happen? What am I going to do now? A thousand fearful questions flooded my thoughts continually. It was crippling. And I believe the most crippling aspect was the need to hide all these ugly secrets from everyone. What would people think if they knew? I didn’t know who to turn to and yet I knew that I had to speak to someone. I was consumed with pain and I needed help.”
“I know it was a tender mercy that I was able to attend a support group using the Healing Through Christ workbook. I was able to connect with other women who feared the same things, thought the same things, and felt the same things I was feeling. I was no longer alone in this horrendous trial! Now, if I’m being completely honest, the workbook made me angry at first. Why did I have to look at myself and my own actions? I felt like I was being punished. Didn’t anyone realize that I was the victim here? But as I continued to attend for support […]